Independence

My parents are away in Portugal at the minute, and it’s given me plenty of time this week to readjust to living alone. Moving out of your parents’ place can be scary business, and even experiencing living away at university isn’t like being on your own. However, with your own space also comes your own independence and freedom. I’m not tied by anyone or anything else. I can suit myself, do what I want when I want to. It’s my chance to be an individual.

Of course, I started out all productive: going shopping, doing some DIY projects, meeting friends for meals and for drinks… but last night I didn’t leave the house after work and simply binge watched Pretty Little Liars for hours (I’ve been re-watching from start to finish in preparation for the last ten episodes in April – yes, it is one of my biggest guilty pleasure addictions). It’s been a weird week, hence kind of neglecting this blog.

There’s a certain thrill of being alone, but also plenty of anxiety to go with it. Sometimes, you just need someone older, more experienced, to give you reassurance about your actions. It’s a tricky area to navigate, as I sometimes get scared to take a big leap alone, and yet I know I need to just do it sooner or later. This brief week is giving me a little snippet of a taste of self-preservation, and here I am wondering if, when it really comes to it, I could do it.

Adrenaline, the rush of doing something unpredicted and exciting mixed with fear and newness. The truth of the matter is, we can all do it if we have to, and so it’s just a case of having that confidence in ourselves. Being on my own does create that slight twinge of anxiety and self doubt, but I’ve survived so far, and long term it’ll probably just keep on getting more and more normal. And if I ever want to move away, travel and get where I dream to be, this kind of growth is just going to be a natural part of that.

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